Things
by DigitalEloquence
Summary: "They sat a little too close together, stared just a little longer than necessary, and spoke just a little softer then they had to - all the signs for a perfect relationship were there, the two just hadn't realized it yet." L/J, R
1. Prolouge

Things - Prolouge  
  
Authors Note: I've never written a Lily/James story and, if it weren't for the fact that this is actually more of a gift in dedication to a good friend of mine, I would not be writing it at all. This is a work in progress - further notes at the bottom.  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are the property of J. K. Rowling. The idea, though, is mine. Don't sue me.   
  
  
  
It was Christmas break and everyone in Gryffindor had gone home for the holidays - except that is, Lily Evans and James Potter. How they had gotten stuck alone with one another was, actually, something the members of Gryffindor had planned - something Sirus had cooked up himself and the others had embraced immediately.   
  
Lily and James were friends - good friends, the type people often assume are dating simply because they spend so much time with one another. They sat a little too close together, stared just a little longer than necessary, and spoke just a little softer then they had to - all the signs for a perfect relationship were there, the two just hadn't realized it yet.   
  
And so - it had gone into affect; in late November everyone began making plans. Usually, James would go home with either Remus or Sirus for Christmas - but this year he found that both the Lupin and Black families wanted private, family-only holidays. He had been disappointed, of course, but sent a letter to his parents explaining he'd be at the Potter house for Christmas. Of course, he didn't know of the letter that Sirus had already sent under the name of a Professor - explaining that James really needed to spend the break studying instead of goofing off around the Potter house. The Potter's explained to James that he would be spending Christmas at Hogwarts for his fifth year and, if he didn't clean his act up, wouldn't be invited back home for any more Christmases, ever.   
  
No one in the Girl's dorms knew how to get in touch with Lily's family - she certainly didn't talk of them much. And so, it was in the case of Lily that their plan had its only fault. They were surprised and excited to find that she had been asked to stay home by her parents, anyways. Her sister had a new boyfriend and they didn't need her home to complicate things when she so clearly knew how her sister felt about magic.   
  
The members of Gryffindor house were pleased. As the early weeks of December began to pass the Boys and Girls of Dorms Year 5 watched Lily and James, closely. At the slightest hints of flirtation between the two, secret-knowing smiles would be exchanged.   
  
Break began a week before Christmas.   
  
  
To Be Continued 


	2. Sleep To Dream Her

For author's note, etc, scroll to bottom.  
  
  
  
Sleep To Dream Her  
  
  
The Gryffindor common room felt extremely empty, with the two of them as it's only occupants.   
  
Today, Lily was in one of her don't-touch-or-come-near-me-don't-even-look-at-me-James-moods and she was sitting across the room from him reading a Muggle paper back. It was plain; generic cream-white and the spine was so cracked that James couldn't read the title. She had pulled her knees up to her chest and her red hair fell around her, making her look extremely young. The image reminded him a lot of their first year, when Lily read a lot and chewed on her hair even more.   
  
He was tired of being ignored, of being alone in the too-empty room. So he did the only thing he could do. "Accio stupid-Muggle-book."  
  
It flew out of Lily's hand. She looked up at him with outraged emerald eyes. "You just didn't!"  
  
"I believe I did," he said, waving the book in one of his hands.   
  
"Give it back." She pushed herself up from her armchair, looking furious.   
  
James smirked. "What if I don't want to?"   
  
"You'll give it back if you know what's good for you."   
  
"Oh yeah - what're you going to do?"   
  
"Just give it back," she cried in frustration.   
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Na - " his word was cut off when she pounced on him, knocking him to the ground. Her book flew out of his hands and landed neatly a little ways away from his head.  
  
Of course, this left Lily and James in an uncomfortable and awkward position - but for the time being, they didn't seem to notice. Lily's hair fell down around his face, forming scarlet curtains.   
  
"There," she said, triumphant. "That'll teach you to take - " Now, it was her turn to be cut off, as he used natural fighting instincts to roll on top of her - pinning her down. She now took the time to notice what the situation would look like to anyone who happened to open the Portrait Hole and spy them on the floor on top of one another. She used all her strength to push him off of her. Lily pushed herself up on her knees and smoothed her clothes, angrily.   
  
He rolled away, grabbing her book in one hand before moving to his feet. "Seventeenth Summer?" he read, testing out the sound of the title. "What kind of book is it?"  
  
"Uh - it's a romance..."  
  
"You were reading a romance novel, Lil?" he walked away from her, book in hand, looking at it as if it were some kind of new and dangerous weapon.   
  
"Yes - is there something strange about romance novels?" she moved toward him to take the book away, but he held the book over his head so she couldn't reach it. She rolled her eyes. "Fine James - you keep that stupid book. I'm going to go study." She disappeared into the girl's dorm - leaving him slightly disappointed.   
  
No matter - he now took time to open up the book and read the first page; 'I don't know just why I'm telling you all this. Maybe you'll think I'm just being silly. But I'm not because this is important. You see, it was different!' Was this the kind of crap Muggles read? Biting his lip, he read on - barely noticing when Lily walked out of the common room with a bag of books thrown over one arm.   
  
  
  
Several hours later, she returned - bag of books thrown over her arm, looking tired, ink stains on her hands. He looked up at her and smiled as she entered the Portrait Hole. "Hey Lily - guess what I did while you were gone?"  
  
She dropped her books onto the couch and flopped down beside him, where he was sitting in a large armchair. "What?"  
  
"I read your dumb book."  
  
"All of it?" she asked, raising a dusty auburn eyebrow in astonishment.  
  
"Yes and it's dumb," he declared.   
  
She rolled her eyes. "It is not dumb. It's just a little old, is all."  
  
"It's still dumb."  
  
"Is not."  
  
"Is too."  
  
"Oh James, you are a bloody idiot!" she cried, grabbing the book from his hand and beating him with it.   
  
"Okay, okay, okay, okay..." he cried, as she hit him. "It was okay..."  
  
She paused and looked at him with wide green eyes. "Just okay?"  
  
"That's all you're going to get out of me, Lily. It was just okay."  
  
"You're stupid."  
  
He smiled. "I know...that's why you love me."  
  
"If you're under the impression that I love you then you're crazy," she said, examining a wall hanging with something that looked like...new appreciation.   
  
They were both quiet for awhile. Then James asked, "How long did you study?"  
  
"A good three hours and I believe you should, too. Isn't that why you're at Hogwarts for holiday?"  
  
He nodded. "But I don't think it's that big of a deal. I'm doing fine in all my classes."  
  
"Right," she said, wrinkling her nose. "A Professor told you to study - so you will."   
  
"Pfft."  
  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
He seemed defeated. "Fine - but only if I can stay in the Girl's Dorm with you tonight."   
  
"Whatever," she sighed. "You just go study." With that, she gestured towards his dorm, where his books were kept.  
  
  
  
For some reason, she had a hard time falling asleep once she got into her dorm room that night. Alone, with her curtains drawn around her - she felt extremely...solitary was the word, she supposed.   
  
Of course, the curtains were drawn so she did not notice the door to her dorm room opening. She did not see him enter and did not know he was there until the scarlet hangings around her bed were snapped suddenly open. There was no one visibly in the room with her and, at first, she thought Peeves might have been harassing her again. Until she saw the head.  
  
The head of a not startlingly attractive but, somehow, handsome boy with deep brown eyes and glasses. The head smiled at her and said, "Lil!"  
  
Letting out a shriek, she grabbed at the invisibility cloak and yanked it off of him - throwing it across the room.   
  
"Now that is a very old piece of cloth and if you ruin it - "  
  
"I'll ruin whatever the bloody hell I want, James," she cried.  
  
In response, he gave her a sorrowful look. He was extremely capable of these looks because he had deep brown eyes. Lily had learned over the years that blue eyes could sparkle but never could express such sorrow as those of the brown variety.   
  
"Sorry Lily," he said, pulling at the edges of her quilt. There was a cold puff of air and as it hit her, Lily panicked.  
  
"You aren't getting in bed with me!"  
  
"Why not? You said I could stay here in the girl's dorm with you, didn't you?"  
  
"I didn't think you meant in my bed!"   
  
"Come on Lily, it's not like I'm going to rape you."  
  
She wasn't exactly sure of that. She cast her eyes away from him. "James, I honestly don't think Dumbledore would approve..."  
  
"Approve of what?"  
  
"Of you sleeping with me."  
  
He smirked. "Like I said Lily, I'm not planning on raping you. Just spending the night." He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Now sleep, you, before I decide to kill you."   
  
And so she did - though rather uncomfortably. She didn't want to believe that she was sleeping in the same bed as James Potter, her long-time best friend. If a Professor were to show up...well, she didn't want to think of what the results of that might be. She tried not to think of the bad things, instead she turned her mind to the comfort and warmth of James. She had always wanted to be special to him - the one person he trusted most and though they were friends, she did not think of him as her Best Friend. Lily had always thought that the idea of having a Best Friend would be like...well, like heaven. As much as she'd love to be anything and everything James Potter needed, she knew she'd never achieve that.   
  
James was simply thinking of the idea of Lily - beautiful, sweet Lily who'd never done him wrong and who he liked to tease. Lately, he was not sure of her - she seemed unhappy and distant (something about her family? or could it actually be him?). He knew something was wrong and he wanted to give comfort, to help - but when it came to the serious, sensitive things, words often failed James Potter. Whatever the reason - he found himself thinking that this was what it was like to hold Lily Evans in his very own arms, assuring her safety and protection in its most animalistic form. This was what he wanted to do, wanted to give comfort to the girl he (loved) cared for. She was such a nice girl.   
  
Together, the two fell out of the blue and into the black.   
  
  
  
Chapter Title: From "Sleep To Dream Her" by Dave Matthews Band: "She stares up at the stars when/the stars fell from her hair then/I bent down to collect them/and then she was gone/I sleep just to dream her/I beg the night just to see her/that my only love should be her/just to lie in her arms   
"Seventeenth Summer" is by Maureen Daly and is not mine. *^^* 


	3. The Calm You Seek

Here is Chapter 3 of 'Things', hope you enjoy - and as always further notes at the bottom.  
  
  
James woke from sleep in a strange and new bed, one occupied by someone he wasn't used to spending the night with. As he turned his brown eyes onto the situation, he saw that there was a head buried into the side of his neck and long red hair was pouring out across the white sheets under and around him.   
  
  
Lily.   
  
  
The large amount of red hair reminded him, helplessly and hopelessly, of how beautiful she was. Suddenly, he remembered the first day he met Lily, the first day he realized she might be beautiful...  
  
  
***  
  
  
He and his parents had been walking across Platform 9¾ when they spotted the girl sitting alone and looking at the ground on the bench. Her long red hair, plaited in two, long to-the-waist braids fell over her white cheeks and James, then, had thought her an odd sight, to say the least. His parents had spotted her first and had pointed themselves toward her, seeing that she had a trunk sitting beside her.   
  
  
"Miss?" his mother, Sarah Potter, had asked, touching the girls right shoulder softly. The redhead's face shot up toward Mrs.Potter quickly and James was shocked to see the girl's eyes. They were emerald green. In all his life, he'd never seen green eyes before - blue, brown, and gray all the time, but never green. He wondered to himself, briefly, if eyes could actually be that color - or was there something wrong with this girl?   
  
  
"Darling, what's your name?" his father asked, kneeling down to be eye-level with the girl.   
  
  
"Lillian Evans, sir," the girl, Lillian, said so softly that it was almost a whisper.   
  
  
James saw his mother shoot A Look at his father. The girl had a Muggle-name. "That's a very pretty name, isn't it?" Sarah Potter said, turning her eyes back to the girl and taking a deep breath. She was about to ask The Question and James knew The Question had to be thought over, deeply. If this girl was not on her way to Hogwarts and was just a Muggle girl sitting beside a spare trunk and Sarah Potter let something slip, Something Bad would happen to the girl. Oddly, James didn't want anything to happen to this girl, Lillian. He found himself liking her, a little. He'd never been friends with a girl before. "Are you waiting for the train at...Platform 9¾ ?"   
  
  
Lillian looked at Mrs.Potter with deep eyes and nodded.   
  
  
"Why aren't your parents with you?"   
  
  
"They dropped me off," Lillian said, softly.   
  
  
"You're eleven?"  
  
  
"Yes."  
  
  
"I see. Well, I'm sure both you and your parents know that going to   
Hogwarts is a big responsibility," Mrs.Potter said, smiling gently at Lillan. "I'm sure your parents are very proud of you. This is my son, James. It's his first year at Hogwarts, too. You two might be good friends if you stick together?"   
  
  
Lillian nodded. "I'd like that," she said but James knew that most things said had very little baring on what happened later. He would have to see about the girl some other time.   
  
  
James watched as his Mother gave Lillian instructions on to how to get into the Platform. The girl looked a little more than afraid but she rolled her trunk on its cart toward the wall and, closing her eyes in fright ran toward the barrier. James watched her run right through the solid wall and then, less scared than he probably should be, ran toward the barrier himself.   
  
  
As he sailed to a stop he opened his own eyes and saw Lillian standing completely still with her eyes shut. As her eyes flew open again, he heard her let out a sigh of amazement. Now, his own eyes turned toward the scarlet steam engine before the two of them. The Hogwarts Express.   
  
  
Soon, he felt his father's hand on his shoulder. "Give me your tickets, you two. Gotta give them to the collector." The two children quickly gave Ben Potter their tickets and turned back toward the majestic train.   
  
  
Sarah quickly spotted someone she'd gone to school with and went over to chat with them. Lillian seemed to be taking in the sights of the Wizarding World and James suddenly felt very self-conscious, after all - he was standing around alone with a girl. He'd never associated with a girl before, much less a Muggle girl with (beautiful. had he just thought the word beautiful?!) green eyes like the one this Lillian possessed.   
  
  
"I suppose I should go change into my robes, shouldn't I?" she said, looking at the other girls prancing about in their brand-new over robes which seemed to flow around them like black water. "I'll be right back."   
  
  
And just like that Lillian was gone.   
  
  
Suddenly, he noticed boys looking at him. Three of them to be exact. The first was tall and thin, with wild, slightly long black hair and light blue eyes (james thought the boy to look rather like him, with the exception of the eyes.), the second was James's height with shot, dusty brown hair that, oddly, seemed somehow gray and wild brown eyes, and, finally the last, a slightly pudgy, short boy with innocent looking features and a desperately human smile. The three were standing together and staring at him with distinct interest.   
  
  
The tallest seemed to make a decision and walked towards him, the other two dragging slightly behind. The tall one stuck out his hand and, brightly, said, "Hullo, the names Sirius Black."   
  
  
James felt oddly adult as he shook the boy's hand. "James, James Potter."  
  
  
"Oh?" Sirius said, with interest. James, again, felt very adult as he heard Sirius continue on, "A Potter, are you?"  
  
  
James nodded and looked toward the other two boys.  
  
  
"Oh yes," Sirius said, "this is Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew." He pointed at each of the boys in turn. James smiled at them, also with interest. "We're staring our first year at Hogwarts this year. All eleven."   
  
  
"Me too," James began but was cut off by someone clearing their throat.   
He turned around to see Lillian standing behind him, wearing her black over cloak in new pride. She had taken down her braids and now the majesty of her hair was apparent and unmistakable, falling brightly red 'round her white pale cheeks. In her right hand, a tightened fist, she held the two yellow ribbons that had formerly held her braids.   
  
  
The three new boys were staring at her in wide-eyed shock and interest. Lillian bit her lip, looking at the boys before her. Evidently, she was feeling a little shy and nervous herself. "Uh, James - I don't believe you've introduced me," she muttered, looking toward the ground.   
  
  
"Oh, uh - Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew," he pointed at each of them in turn.   
  
  
"Oh." Gently she turned away from them - looking hopelessly through the   
crowd for Mrs.Potter, hoping to be away from the uncomfortably of these boys.  
  
  
Ben Potter came back through the crowd towards the spot where he'd left James and Lillian. Seeing the three new children standing with them, he raised his eyebrows. "Uh, the train will be loading up soon - are you ready James?"   
  
  
"Ready as I'll ever be."   
  
  
Sarah was back from her brief chat. "Oh James - we'll write everyday."   
  
  
She, clearly, was embarrassing him in front of his new friends. He blushed slightly, "'Course - every day."   
  
  
Mrs.Potter was turning and biting her lip, looking away for her son and his new friends. "It's time to be getting on the train," she whispered, walking quickly away from them - hoping to hide the slight hint of tears.   
  
  
Later on the train, the five of them shared a compartment. The four boys talked on and on about their lives, stopping only to buy candy from the Cart-Witch when she walked past. Lillian mainly just sat in the corner, looking small and reading from a book while chewing on her long hair.   
  
  
James dared to look at her, seeing her shy and all too quirky with a long strand of hair in her mouth. "Lillian - "  
  
  
She looked up toward him with a start. "Yes?"  
  
  
"Would you tell us about your life?"   
  
  
"Oh, yes..."  
  
And so, he took a Chocolate Frog from his pile and offered it to her. As their hands touched, she looked at him - her long, red hair making a curtain around her face and smiled. "Lily," she said, softly. And he understood.  
  
  
He was to call her Lily.   
  
  
***  
  
He had been watching her sleep for ages when her eyes snapped open, green and shining. She said nothing to him only stared up at him in the silence of the almost-empty room and smiled. She slipped out of the bed - revealing the slip-like green-checked nightdress she'd been wearing the night before.   
  
  
She sat down at Beatrice Falstaff's vanity table and began to pull a brush through her hair. Interested, he approached her and took the brush from her hand and began to pull it through her hair himself.   
  
  
She turned to look up at him with amused eyes and her hair fell away from her face, beautifully. It was now that he kissed her - leaned forward and snagged her lips with his own. And it was simply that, a kiss. Chaste but searching. Simple but loving. Their first kiss.   
  
  
When he pulled away from her, he felt himself backing away - wondering if she might hit him for advancing on her but she did nothing but look amused. Now, she pushed herself up from the Vanity Chair and walked toward her wardrobe.   
  
  
"If I were you, I'd go get dressed before we're late for breakfast," she said, removing her uniform from the insides of her personal closet.   
  
  
"Okay," he said.   
  
  
She smiled, oddly. "I'll meet you in the Common Room in a minute, okay?"  
  
  
"Of course."  
  
  
"James?" she asked and he turned toward her. "What are you thinking about?"  
  
  
"Things," he answered.  
  
  
"Things?" she teased.  
  
  
"Of course..."  
  
  
"I'll see you at breakfast."  
  
  
"Of course..."  
  
  
Author's Note  
Chapter title: let me surround you/my sea to your shore/let me be the calm you seek  
Sorry this took so long, you guys. I would have posted it sooner but I was pretty sick this week. I spent the entire week doing homework and sleeping, so do forgive me - anyway, please do Read and Review. I don't think this chapter is that good - but hey, whatever. And Chapter 4 will be out soon. Oh and yes, fans of this fic will certainly like my new one - 'Immortality', which is, certainly, connected to his fic. 


	4. Everything You Are

Author's Notes at the bottom. Oh yes - and an important question for my reviewers, too.   
  
  
  
Everything You Are  
  
They made their way, half-running, down the staircases to breakfast. They dodged and turned corners and were separated once or twice by the moving of the staircases.   
  
  
Lily found that she was greatly faster then James and could zig and zag through the staircases with great ease.  
  
  
The third time they were separated, Lily wasn't quite so proud of herself.   
  
  
"Uh - hello Severus," she said, looking behind her to see the long sweep of stairs that led to the ground.   
  
  
"Hello Lillian. Tell me - what brings you here to the staircases, screaming and running like a banshee?"  
  
  
Lily blushed and stammered for words. "I, I was just trying to get down to breakfast on time..."  
  
  
"Breakfast ended about twenty minutes ago, Lillian. You were late because?"  
  
  
She looked over her shoulder to see James watching their conversation from a staircase a couple of feet away. It seemed more like miles. "I - um - overslept."  
  
  
"Ah? Were you...wrapped up in a dream?" He now took a glance at James and gave a half-smile.  
  
  
Lily quickly wondered if she was that transparent. "Um - no. I was up late studying...and discussing books with James."   
  
  
"Oh - so you've been having fun with Potter?"   
  
  
"Oh yes - quite much fun, indeed." She bit her lip to keep from blushing but thought that she might be failing miserably.   
  
  
"Hmm, well that's all well and good then. Will you be stopping by the library to study with me?" he smiled and leaned toward her. "I have some particularly nasty Charms homework and I know you've been having trouble with your Potions Christmas project."   
  
  
"Uh - well..."  
  
  
Suddenly the sounds of the staircases moving interrupted them. James walked the short distance over to Lily and Severus. He looked like he was about to say something nasty to Severus but Lily cleared her throat and began, "We're late to breakfast, James. We better go down to the House Elves rooms if we want any food at all."  
  
  
With that she grabbed James's arm and literally dragged him away from Severus. She looked over her shoulder to see Severus traveling down one of the staircases that, she assumed, led to the Slytherin dungeons.   
  
  
When they were a good way away from the staircases he looked at her with worried eyes. "You know how I feel about Snape, Lil."   
  
  
She sighed and let her arm tighten around his own. "Yes - I know..."  
  
  
***  
  
"A ball?" Peter seemed to taste the words with his lips. "Why would Hogwarts have a, uh, a dance."  
  
  
"I don't know," Lily said, "maybe they think its time we relaxed." She motioned toward the heavy book she was flipping through and rolled her eyes.   
  
  
"Yeah - but a dance?!" Remus said, his usual soft-voice growing steadily louder than normal.   
  
  
"I mean - where are we supposed to get partners?"  
  
  
Lily laughed. "Why - I imagine you boys should look in the 4th year girl's dormitory." She paused before adding, "Unless you have different tastes and then, if that's the case, just look amongst yourselves."   
  
  
"Lily," James began, seriously, "you know that's not funny."  
  
  
She plastered a hand over her mouth, still laughing. She was blushing now, too. After several seconds, she composed herself. "Actually - it is."   
  
  
"Isn't," Sirius said, rolling his eyes in frustration and pushing his own book off the table.   
  
  
"I know - I'm sorry. I should probably get back to the dorms - I have enough of this assignment done that I can finish it up later. You boys, on the other hand, better get to work," all the while she was gathering he things up and putting them into her bag. "Have fun, okay?"  
  
  
"Okay," the four said in monotone. Again she had to hide her laughter.   
  
  
Throwing her bag over her shoulder she made her way, pleasantly, out of the library and down the first floor hallway. Moving up the spiral staircase, she ran directly into Severus Snape.   
  
  
"Lillian," he said and smiled, "so good to see you."  
  
  
"You too," she added. She and Severus had been studying and tutoring each other all year long, in secret.   
  
  
"On your way to your dorm?" he asked.  
  
  
"Oh - yes. The boys are still in the library, finishing up their astrology charts." She walked a little up the staircase and was, secretly, pleased to hear Snape turn around and follow her.   
  
  
He put one warm hand on her shoulder and she turned toward him, biting her lip. "Lillian..."  
  
  
She was surprised to find herself nervous. She certainly didn't find Snape physically attractive but she had, once or twice, noted his extreme intelligence in the fine art of Potions. "Yes..."   
  
  
"I'm sure you know about the ball coming up..."  
  
  
"Of course."  
  
  
"Yes, of course - uh, I was wondering..."  
  
  
"Yes?"   
  
  
"Ifyouwouldliketogowithmetotheball."  
  
  
"What?" she stepped toward him slightly. "Say that again."  
  
  
He took a deep breath. "Would you like to go to the ball with me?"  
  
  
She took in a deep breath.   
  
  
"Now you know you don't have to..."  
  
  
"I want to," she whispered, trying to not-smile.  
  
  
"And I'm sure you don't want to..."  
  
  
"I want to," she said, again, a little louder.   
  
  
He seemed to be stunned. "What?!"   
  
  
She took another step toward him; eyes alight with a certain kind of fire. The two were startlingly close, all of a sudden. "I want to go with you."  
  
  
"Really?!"  
  
  
"Yeah!"   
  
  
"I - uh - I," he stammered, trying to cough up words.   
  
  
She could only smile and nod. "That's okay - looking, I'll see you later." With that, she turned and ran the rest of her way up the staircases.   
  
  
Later that night in the Common Room, James approached her.   
  
  
"Lil?"  
  
  
She looked up at him, surprised. "Yes? What do you need, James?"  
  
  
"I was just wondering..."   
  
  
"Yes?"  
  
  
"Wouldyougototheballwithme?"  
  
  
She stopped, totally paralyzed. "What?!"   
  
  
"Would you go to the ball with me?"  
  
  
She paused and turned white. "Oh - I can't."  
  
  
Then HE turned red. "Um - why not?"  
  
  
"I'm going with someone else already." She looked down at her hands.  
  
  
"Oh - who?" He paused, unsure of himself; "You don't have to tell me."  
  
  
"Oh no - it's okay. I'm going with Severus Snape."  
  
  
It was like taking a bullet to the heart. "Who?!?!"  
  
  
"Um, Severus Snape?"  
  
  
"Lily - you can't!"  
  
  
She suddenly felt quite angry. "Why the hell not?"  
  
  
"Because he's a bloody git - and you know it!"  
  
  
Her face turned red and she looked down at her lap, ashamed.   
  
  
James composed himself. "When did he ask you?"   
  
  
"Earlier," she whispered.  
  
  
"And you didn't think we'd kill you?"   
  
  
She squeaked. "What?! Kill me? You wouldn't kill me for going to a ball with Severus Snape!"   
  
  
"Oh would we? Watch - Sirius!"  
  
  
Sirius looked up from the spot where he was beating Peter at Chess. "Yeah?"  
  
  
"What would we do if Lily ever went out with Snape?"  
  
  
"Kill her, of course."   
  
  
James raised his eyebrows and looked at Lily, matter-of-factly.  
  
  
"You would not!"  
  
  
"Okay - maybe not. But we WILL kill him."  
  
  
"No!"  
  
  
"Well you can't go with him!"  
  
  
She rose from her chair and stared him in the face. "What are you suggesting, James? That I break my date with Snape and make him find a whole new partner because YOU want me to."  
  
  
"Yes!"   
  
  
"What - are you jealous or something?" she asked, still outraged.   
  
  
He paused and his face turned red. "Maybe. Look - go with him if you want, Lily, but things between us won't ever be the same if you do." He turned on his heels and left her in deep thought.   
  
  
The next day on the grounds Lily went to find Snape. He was standing with a group of Slytherin boys who, when she called his name, turned around and gave her a once-over. Noting her scarlet and gold tie, scarf, and crest - they left, disgusted.   
  
  
"Severus," she said, taking a deep breath. "We need to talk."  
  
  
"About what?" he asked, turning away from the lake to fully face her.  
  
  
She sighed and looked at the ground. "I can't go to the ball with you."   
  
  
"What?! Why not?!"   
  
  
"I can't go to the ball with you - and it's best we don't see each other, a lot, either."  
  
  
"But - "  
  
  
She held her hand up to his face, almost crying. "Don't ask questions. Just listen to me."   
  
  
He did as told.   
  
  
"It's for the best - now please, don't argue with me. I've got to go."  
  
  
And she marched away, biting her lip all the while.   
  
  
That night James and Lily were silent.   
  
  
***   
  
  
"I don't want you near him, Lily. Okay?"  
  
  
"Okay."  
  
  
"I think the man is scum, scum - you hear me?"  
  
  
"Of course I do James."  
  
  
Arm in arm they reached the large painting of a bowl of fruit. James gave the password as if he didn't even have to think about it.   
  
  
The portrait swung open and the two of them stepped into the world of the House Elves.   
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes  
  
Chapter Title From: Dizzy, "You're cynical and beautiful/you always make a scene/you're monochrome delirious/you're nothing that you seem/I'm drowning in your vanity/you're laugh is a disease/you're dirty and you're sweet/you know you're everything to me/everything you are/falls from the sky like a star/everything you are/whatever ever you are"  
  
And now a question - I'm about to bring everyone home for Christmas and I know that there are supposed to be 5 fifth year boys. I only have James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. There should be one more - perhaps Frank Longbottom?  
  
As always - reviews are welcome and appreciated. Chapter 5 out soon. 


	5. Empty 'Til You Came

Author's Notes at the bottom, as always.   
  
  
"You've got to be kidding me?" Sirius gasped, trying to look over Remus's shoulder at the piece of parchment in his hands.   
  
  
Remus was smiling. "Nope, Lily and James are actually together. For real."  
  
  
"I didn't think it would work," Peter noted, his own face bright.   
  
  
"Well it did - I wonder what Katie and Beatrice will say when they find out," Sirius wondered.   
  
  
"Oh," Remus said with a shrug, "probably shriek. It was a wonderful idea, Sirius."   
  
  
"Yeah. Congratulations, man." Peter nodded.   
  
  
"Had nothing to do with me - thank the lovebirds," Sirius said, with a laugh.   
  
  
"Have you thought about how much this is gonna change stuff?"   
  
  
"Yeah - it won't change much at all."   
  
  
The three looked at each other and laughed.  
  
  
***   
  
  
The perfect snow fell around them, catching and sticking in Lily's hair. The breeze blew at the two of them, harsh but they didn't seem to notice it at all.   
  
  
James noted the way that the snow fell from her hair and the way that his feet crushed the ice forming on the ground with the wild snow. The dark gray sky seemed to crash down on the two of them and they were totally alone, looking out on the frozen lake.   
  
  
It was official. They were Lily and James now. Not to be referred to as Just James or Just Lily - but Lily and James, forever now until the end of time. He had sent a letter to his friends, a happy letter noting the events surrounding the past week of Christmas break that had brought he and Lillian together. It was perfect; almost as if it had been planned.   
  
  
Again the wind pushed at him, causing Lily's red hair to flow around her. He was glad to be outside, with her beside him in the snow.   
  
  
Suddenly, he felt himself slip and fall to the ground and she was laughing at him, the sound rising up and brightening the gray of the day.   
  
  
"Lily - I slipped, help me up please?"  
  
  
She went to him and when she offered him her hand, he pulled her down along with him.   
  
  
"You bastard," she cried, after hitting the ground.  
  
  
"No, Lily dear, I know my father."   
  
  
He pushed himself up from the snow, easily - watching her struggle to get up herself. Finally, she grabbed onto his arm and pushed herself up.  
  
  
They continued their walk to the lake. "You sent the letter, right?" she asked, turning her face up towards his own. "You told them about us?"  
  
  
"Yeah - I did."   
  
  
"I wonder how they're taking it," she sighed.   
  
  
"Hopefully well," James said, as they reached the edge of the lake.   
  
  
"Hopefully," she sighed. "I'm just worried they'll think it's weird."   
  
  
"You and me - weird? Never!" James laughed.  
  
  
"Oh yes - we're so totally meant to be," Lily said, rolling her eyes.   
  
  
"Right," he said, smiling. "I know the boys - they'll take the news well. Have you sent your letter to the girls yet?"  
  
  
"The girls? You talk like they're my friends," Lily sighed.   
  
  
"You mean they aren't?" James looked suddenly interested.   
  
  
"We get along and we talk some, if that's what you mean," Lily looked out over the lake, contemplative - her jade eyes sweeping over the ice.  
  
  
"But you aren't friends with any of them?"   
  
  
She shook her head, no.  
  
  
"I bet they'd still like to know," James said, "I bet they'd be happy for us."   
  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
  
"Why wouldn't they be?" James was shocked. He thought Lily and the other girls in Dorms Year Five were pretty close.   
  
  
"Well - Beatrice and Katie are best friends; you knew that of course. They've never liked me - I don't know why," Lily paused. "This next part is top-secret information, so you can't tell a soul - Natalie sort of has a crush on you and has since around second year."   
  
  
"Natalie?!" James cried, shocked - thinking of the shy, thin dark-headed girl with the light blue eyes. "You aren't serious!"  
  
  
Lily looked at him with confused eyes. "Totally serious..."  
  
  
"And Mara?"  
  
  
Lily sighed and looked away. "Mara doesn't have time to notice me, James. She's too busy with Frank."  
  
  
James briefly picture Frank Longbottom, the only non-Marauder in the 5th year boys dormitory, - who was serious, studious, and shy. He also thought of Mara, with her strawberry-blonde hair and soft eyes who was constantly at Frank's elbow.   
  
  
"You mean to tell me that we're your only friends."  
  
  
Lily looked toward the ground.   
  
  
"You don't have to answer that."  
  
  
"Popularity isn't everything," she said, looking away from him.  
  
  
"I know - it's just..."   
  
  
"Just what?"   
  
  
"Nothing! So you won't be sending a letter?"  
  
  
"Oh - no, I don't think so." She shook her head, her red hair and snow falling over her shoulders as she did so. "I don't think they'd care."  
  
  
"Ah - well." He wrapped one arm around her shoulder and held him close to himself.   
  
  
All that matters, he thought, is that she's mine.   
  
  
***  
  
  
The carriages arrived at the school, brimming with students. It was quite a shock to Lily, who had become used to the mostly empty, school and she didn't go down with James to meet every one, preferring to wait in the Common Room.   
  
  
When students started to file into the Tower, James took a seat beside Lily.   
  
  
"The boys will be up in a minute," he informed her and she nodded, wide-eyed. She knew there would be questions.   
  
  
"Lily!" Katie Brewyn cried, running over to her in excitement. "I heard everything on the train! You and James - I'm so glad it worked out for you two."  
  
  
"Yeah - thanks," Lily began and then realized that Kate had just said 'it'. What'd that mean, anyway?  
  
  
As Sirius, Remus, and Peter came toward them, James smiled brightly.   
  
  
"James, Lily - it worked!" Peter cried.   
  
  
"It?" Lily mumbled, turning slightly to James.   
  
  
"The plan! It worked!! James - I'm so glad for you." Remus was clapping James on the back.  
  
  
"Plan?!" Lily said, looking at the three boys. "What plan?"  
  
  
"That plan that everyone knew about - the one to get you and James together," Sirius cried, smiling.  
  
  
"What?!" Lily jumped up from her seat.   
  
  
The three boys stared at Lily, eyes wide. They had no idea she'd be mad with them - they thought she'd be happy that they'd thought up the wonderful plan but instead, she jumped up and ran from the room.   
  
  
A string of loud swears exited James's lips as he looked at the group of them.   
  
  
He ran after her.  
  
***  
  
  
"Fuck," he whispered, as he caught sight of her sitting at the very edge of the lake.   
  
  
As he approached the crunch of his feet in the remaining snow alerted her. "James? Is that you?" she said, sniffling and he could see her push the tears away from her eyes.   
  
  
"I'm here," he sighed, pulling her to her feet and wrapping his arms around her. Her breath was shaky - she was crying so hard she could barely breath. Her only friends - pulling a trick on her like that. He'd kill them later. She was also ice-cold.   
  
  
She had cried hard and now she looked empty and soulless, all that was left now was wracking sobs. And as he held her he whispered, "I love you. It's okay. I love you; I'll love you no matter what they do."   
  
  
And only this seemed to quiet her.   
  
  
Author's Notes  
Chapter Title: "I'm going crazy/and it's all 'cause of you/it's all 'cause of you/I'm going under/over you/over you/this time is so alive/everybody's tranced/dancing tonight/oh so beautiful/and so strange/oh/it was empty until you came" 


	6. A Different Way

For disclaimers see Prologue. For author's notes - scroll to bottom.   
  
  
  
  
chapter 6: a different way  
  
  
  
"James? Lily?" Remus asked, turning around. The three Maruders had been waiting for James and Lily to come back to the Tower for ages now.   
  
  
There was no answer, only the sound of a girl (lillian, of course) sniffling and holding back what could possibly be sobs.   
  
  
"Where've you two been?" Peter asked, getting up from his spot and walking towards the two standing side-by-side in the door. "You okay, Lily?"  
  
  
Lily seemed to flinch at the sound of her own name. James glanced at her when she did so.   
  
  
"Why don't you go up to bed, Lil," James said, giving her a nudge toward the girl's dorm.   
  
  
"I think I will," she muttered, moving away as if in a dream, her red hair flying behind her as she went.   
  
  
They were all quiet until they heard her door quietly shut. Then James turned on them.   
  
  
"How could you do something like that?" James asked the three silent Marauders.   
  
  
"Don't you think she's overreacting just a bit?" Sirius asked, pushing himself up from his chair. "She should be happy...so should you. Aren't you happy?"   
  
  
James nodded in reply.  
  
  
"And don't you think its stupid that she's acting like we did something horrible to her? I mean, we didn't make you two fall in love with each other - you did that by yourselves. We just...set it up, is all."  
  
  
"She doesn't have any other friends..."  
  
  
"Lily?! No way..."   
  
  
"Yes, way. We're the only friends she has."   
  
  
"How is that possible?!"   
  
  
"I don't know... She told me the other day that she didn't have any other friends," James, again, trailed off...   
  
  
"What about the girls up in her dorm?" Remus asked, somewhat confused.  
  
  
"No, at least if what she says is true."  
  
  
"I can understand Beatrice and, maybe, Katie. But what about Natalie?"  
  
  
James cleared his throat and looked away. "Natalie...sort of has...a crush...on me."  
  
  
"What?!" all three boys said in unison.   
  
  
James nodded. "That's what I thought."  
  
  
"But...she's..." Peter stammered.   
  
  
"Incredibly shy and sort of scary?" James guessed what Peter was about to say.  
  
  
"No! I was going to say gorgeous!"   
  
  
The room was quiet for a very short while.   
  
  
"Can we just forget about this, James? It really is...well, stupid."  
  
  
James sighed and looked towards Lily's dorm.   
  
  
Sirius sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, "I promise you she'll get over it. It's late - we need to get going, if we plan on getting my new plan in action by sunrise..."   
  
  
James's eyes widened. "What plan is that?"   
  
  
"Well, I was thinking..."  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"Hi," Lily sniffled, upon entering the dorm. It was late and all the lights were off - but she knew that they were waiting up on her.   
  
  
"What kept you?" Beatrice asked, sitting up and letting her thick blonde hair fall over her shoulders.   
  
  
"Bet you were making-out with James in the Astronomy Tower," Katie said, a slight bit of jealousy and girlish-flare apparent in her voice.   
  
  
"Oh no, Lil - NOT in the Astronomy Tower... Frank and I have always preferred..."   
  
  
"What makes you think she cares about what you and Frank do?" Beatrice snapped.   
  
  
"Besides...she's with James Potter," Katie said matter-of-factly, "he's a Quidditch star, not some little Prefect-freak."  
  
  
"For your information," Natalie said, sitting up in her bed. "James IS, in fact, a Prefect."  
  
  
"Shut up, Natalie. Lil's got him now; you don't stand a chance."  
  
  
Natalie sobbed. Lily felt horrified.  
  
  
"It HAS to be the best plan Sirius has EVER come up with," Beatrice said, nodding toward Katie.  
  
  
Kate nodded. "That boy is such a genius."  
  
  
Lily had to resist shrieking. Instead she composed herself, sniffling. "It isn't any business of yours where I've been or what I've been doing."   
  
  
"Honestly - what is wrong with you, anyway?" Beatrice cried in disgust.   
  
  
"We did you a favor getting you together with him and here you are acting all...stuck-up." Like Katharine knew nothing of being stuck-up.  
  
  
"And running out of the Common Room like we'd hexed you or something," Beatrice said, again rolling her eyes.   
  
  
All the while, Mara watched with widening, interested eyes. Lily looked toward her for help but Mara only shook her head; as if to say, 'Don't you dare look at me for help'.   
  
  
Natalie couldn't bear to even look at her.   
  
  
"Bitch," someone whispered, though the voice was uncharacteristic for anyone in the room. It was a loud whisper and it bounced through the dorm, like a frantic snitch. 'Probably Natalie,' Lily thought, trying hard not to laugh. She, in fact, did laugh but it was, actually, more of a bitter-choking sob.   
  
  
Mara's voice rose in the darkness, quiet yet oddly sweet. "Shut up and leave her alone," it said, a voice of reason in a sea of chaos. "Get some sleep - it isn't like she cares about any of you, anyway."  
  
  
This seemed to shut all of them but Natalie up. Lily stayed up all night, listening to her toss and turn and moan.   
  
  
As the sky became pearl gray, Natalie sat up and sniffled. She looked toward Lily's bed, where Lillian lay silent but awake. "He doesn't even like me, does he?" she said, bitterly.   
  
  
Lily didn't answer right away.  
  
  
"Well?!" she demanded.   
  
  
Lilly sputtered, knowing neither answer would make Natalie feel better. "We never talk about you..." She paused before adding, "...Much."  
  
  
"He doesn't even know I exist!" She cried, breaking back into wild sobs.   
  
  
Lily became almost frantic, herself - trying to shut the dark-haired girl up. "Natalie... Nat... Natalie, you have to be quiet. You'll wake the others."  
  
  
"So! Let them wake up if they want!" Natalie hissed bitterly. "It's your fault, anyway - it's all your fault!"   
  
  
"Natalie - shut up."   
  
  
"No!"   
  
  
"Yes."  
  
  
"You've ruined my life, Lily Evans - you've ruined my life!"  
  
  
She wanted to laugh, to say 'What life?!' and 'You never had a chance with him, anyway' but decided against it. It was cold and hypocritical. She wasn't about to be a hypocrite. "Don't blame me, blame Sirius Black," she smirked.   
  
  
***  
  
  
The boys were up early for breakfast. Together they marched into the Hall and took their usual seats at the Gryffindor table, beginning to eat and sip Pumpkin Juice immediately. Lily entered about twenty minutes later, looking a little messy to be Lily-the-usually-organized. She took a seat in front of Remus, sighing and putting her head into her arms.   
  
  
"What's wrong, Lil?" Sirius asked, while munching on toast.   
  
  
Lily brought her head out of her arms and shook her head. "Natalie kept me up all night."  
  
  
The boys exchanged glances - all smirking except for Peter, who looked concerned.   
  
  
"Is she okay?" Peter asked.   
  
  
"Oh yeah - she's fine. But I'm not - no sleep."   
  
  
They all gave her their sympathies, as she began her own breakfast.   
Neatly, she scraped butter onto her toast.  
  
  
"Do you always have to be so...neat?" Sirius asked, still half-chewing toast as he spoke.   
  
  
Lily laughed. However hard last night had been, she was forgetting it in the company of her only friends.   
  
  
Just seconds after Lily finished her first piece of toast and was buttering her second; Mara and Frank walked in. Lily watched Mara whisper something to Frank sharply and pulled him in the direction of Lily and the boys.   
  
  
"Sirius, Remus, Peter, James..." Frank greeted each of them, before turning lastly to Lily "And the lovely Lillian."  
  
  
Lily couldn't help but smile, even though she thought Frank's words were a little too-much put-on. She knew how much Frank wanted to make an impression on his fellow students. He wanted to be Head Boy. Mara was always ranting and raving about Frank being Head Boy some day.   
  
  
"Lily," Mara smiled warmly. What a couple those two made, the awfully stunningly nice couple who were rather clumsy but sweet all the same. You knew that they'd grow up to have either (a) lovely children who were so polite it made your teeth hurt or (b) children so clumsy and forgetful they'd be coined idiots during the first week of their first year of Wizarding School. "Boys!"  
  
  
The boys put on a big show of waving at Mara, who simply smiled. "Lillain - I wanted to tell you to not take the other girls seriously."   
  
  
Lily's green eyes locked with Mara's own large, light blue ones.   
  
  
"They're just jealous and I know it. That's how they were when Frank and I first started going out. It'll wear off - I promise."   
  
  
Lily nodded, noting that Beatrice and Katie still did not like Frank, no matter how nice he was to them.   
  
  
***  
  
Potions seemed to last forever in the misty dark of the dungeons. Lily worked with James, as always. His worst class was Potions. That day she watched as James made several careless mistakes with the cauldron they were doing their monthly project in. Fortunately, she was able to easily repair them even in her half-dead state of mind.   
  
  
"No James," she said, "it's supposed to bubble and change to a neon-green color. Not orange."   
  
  
"But...we did Color Potions in first year... All that yellow and blue stuff..."  
  
  
"James, this isn't a Color Potion."   
  
  
"Oh - what kind is it?" he asked.   
  
  
"Numbing potion," she said.   
  
  
"A medi-potion?"   
  
  
"I guess."  
  
  
She took out her wand and conjured up a bottle perfect for the red potion swirling in the yellow, turning it slowly to orange. Using a simple Separation charm, the red potion was moved to the jar. Unfortunately, Lily was caught in the act.  
  
  
"Miss. Evans!"   
  
  
Lily and James BOTH jumped as Professor Croll appeared before the two of them. Professor Nickclaus Croll hated every other type of magic except the 'Fine Art of Potions'. He had specific rules about using other types of magic in his classes; it was looked upon as a sort of crime in the dungeons. He also didn't believe in doing any type of homework in classes - that was meant for the dorms or the library.   
  
  
"You know how I feel about homework from other classes," the Professor said, angrily. The entire room fell silent, Slytherin and Gryffindor - turning to watch Lily and James.  
  
  
"It's not homework, Professor."  
  
  
"Oh - is it not?"  
  
  
"No Professor Croll, I was simply trying to fix the mistakes of my partner," Lily said, attempting to be brave and look him directly in the eye.  
  
  
Professor Croll glanced at James. "What mistake was that?"  
  
  
"He spilled a red Color Potion into our project, Professor."   
  
  
His eyes swept again to James, cold and accusing. "Did you do this on purpose, Potter?"  
  
  
"I thought the potion called for it, Professor."  
  
  
The room was deathly silent.   
  
  
"Are you almost finished with your project, Evans?"  
  
  
"Yes," Lily felt the color draining from her body as she realized what the Professor was about to do.   
  
  
Croll smiled. "Well - why don't you demonstrate to us the way the project is SUPPOSED to look, when finished - Evans."  
  
  
Lily gulped. "Um - okay."  
  
  
Professor Croll looked slightly offended.  
  
  
"I mean, yes Professor."  
  
  
Croll now nodded and gestured toward the cauldron. "So..."   
  
  
"I have to find the proper potion to add to the cauldron," Lily fumbled, looking wildly at she and James's worktable for a closed beaker of blue liquid-solution.  
  
  
"You can borrow some of ours," Sirius said, motioning to he and Remus's cauldron. Before the Professor could say a word, Lily was ladling out a small portion of the proper blue potion.   
  
  
Turning back to the large cauldron, she held the beaker filled with blue solution slightly over her head - letting it capture what little light the room held. Now, she dumped the contents into the pot.   
  
  
"Quick, James, stir. No, clockwise," she whispered and he began to stir, rapidly. Within seconds, the potion bubbled and became bright neon green. It set off an odd glow and the Gryffindors in the room cheered. Well, most of them anyway. Natalie scowled, Beatrice and Katie looked unemotional.   
  
  
During the commotion, the Professor slunk back to his desk. As the cheering, which the Professor obviously was ignoring - on any other day he would have raised bloody hell if someone clapped their hands, came to an end he rose once more from his seat. "Miss. Evans - can I have a word?"  
  
  
James looked at her, giving her an oh-my-god-I'm-so-sorry-look - she got up and, nervously, walked to the front of the room.  
  
  
Nickclaus leaned over his desk. "Wonderful save, Evans. You work well under pressure?"  
  
  
She hadn't anything to say to this - so she simply nodded.   
  
  
"You brewed a wonderful example of the Numbing potion, Miss.Evans - with little to no help from your partner."  
  
  
She wanted to come to James defense, but didn't know if she should in front of a Professor. She nodded, again.  
  
  
"I'm awarding thirty points to Gryffindor..."  
  
  
Lily took a deep breath in surprise. Had he really just said...   
  
  
"But I'll also be taking five away for doing Charms work in my class. You use Potions methods to make Potions, not charms - understand Evans?"  
  
  
"I understand, Professor."  
  
  
She expected him to tell her to go back to her seat but he didn't. Instead he motioned to a book in front of him, "I'm giving you and Potter a new project." He handed her the book and she skimmed the page. "A re-growing potion for human bones. Madam Pomfrey and Madam Pratt upstairs have some use for this Potion." His lips curled up into a nasty smile. "Good luck."   
  
  
She turned on her heel immediately and walked back to her seat, clutching the book to her chest, unaware of the eyes all upon her.   
  
  
As soon as she reached their worktable, James leaned in, "What'd he say, Lil?"  
  
  
"Twenty-five points," she whispered, hardly able to control her smile.   
  
  
"Twenty-five points? You lost us twenty-five points!? Lily - how do you expect us to win the Cup if you keep up with this! And you're smiling!?!?"   
  
  
Lily shook her head, laughing. "No - I WON twenty-five points."  
  
  
"Oh. Oh! Lily - that's wonderful!!"   
  
  
"Yes! I know - oh, by the way we have a new project." She showed him the page in the book.  
  
  
"Bone re-growing? As in, re-growing an entire skeleton."  
  
  
"I think so," she said, looking up at him with bright green eyes. "They already have plenty of bone-mending potions."  
  
  
"Hmm..."  
  
  
"Professor Croll said that the Hospital Wing needed some," she said.   
  
  
"Well - what does the recipe call for?"  
  
  
"Purple...mermaid scales?" James read, his voice turning slightly disbelieving toward the end.   
  
  
Her eyes widened. "Purple?!"  
  
  
"Do you have Purple mermaid scales?" he asked. She shook her head, no.   
  
  
"I've got blue," she offered.  
  
  
He sighed. "Maybe I have a little red left..."  
  
  
"Perfect - we can mix the two together and dissolve the mixture in water." She seemed delighted at her own intelligence.   
  
  
James began to make the assignment chart - Professor Croll insisted on major assignments being charted, as Lily began to crush the red and blue scales together. She watched him quickly write with a spare quill all of the ingredients they were missing from the Potion, so the Potions Master could check their progress.   
  
  
She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he stood and walked toward the cabinet where the Professor was waiting on him. The Professor checked the list and nodded in a this-should-be-interesting-way. While he was walking back to the worktable, someone tall, thin and dark-haired appeared in front of him.   
  
  
***  
  
  
After being at school with Natalie Rigel for five years, it was strange that James Potter had never looked her in the eyes. Until she stepped in front of him, wide blue eyes light and intoxicating. Today she was looking especially lovely, as if she'd been expecting him to speak to her all along and she had readied herself for it.   
  
  
She was incredibly pale, paler then even Lily; who didn't tan at all, only burnt, and her long, dark hair (which usually fell around her face in a limp, unexplainable grace) was piled up atop her head, three long curls hanging down to her waist. She smiled at him. "James - what're you doing over here in the extra ingredient section. Come here - I'll get you some quality stuff out of my own little traveler's apothecary."   
  
  
"So - what ingredients do you need?" she smiled, leading him to her table.   
  
  
"Oh," he mumbled, "um - purple mermaid scales."  
  
  
She smiled. "Solution or just raw scales?"  
  
  
"You mean there's a difference?!"   
  
  
"Yes, of course there's a difference."  
  
  
"I guess it'd be easier to take the potion."  
  
  
"Then the potion it is," she said, fishing a bottle of purple-y liquid out of her bag. "Here - I know it's a small bottle but if you need more you know where to contact me."   
  
  
She flashed him that look again - all light blue and rimmed with darkness. He could have sworn the rims of those light blue eyes were pure sapphire. Natalie had the eyes of an enchanter, the eyes of a woman desperate.   
  
  
She did something quite strange, quite beautiful - stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek, softly.   
  
  
The sad part was, he felt nothing for her. Absolutely nothing. She was creepy and shy; the exact opposite of Lily, who was friendly, outgoing, and fiery. Not only that - but she just wasn't as drop dead gorgeous as Lily. Yes, she was pretty. She'd be a nice girl for Peter. Yes, Peter. Or maybe even Remus. But never, ever James.   
  
  
His heart belonged to the Lily.   
  
  
***  
  
  
He walked toward their usual table and Lily looked up at him, flashing him a smile. "Got some stuff for us to work with tomorrow?" It was the last fifteen minutes of class and everyone was cleaning up.   
  
  
"Yea."   
  
  
"Good..."  
  
  
"I got mermaid scales," he declared.   
  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Purple ones."  
  
  
"In liquefied form," he smirked; handing her the bottle Natalie had given her.   
  
  
She studied it, turning the small bottle topped with a cork over and over in her hands - watching the purple liquid slide inside its container. "James - where did you get this?"   
  
  
"Natalie."  
  
  
"Well - our mixture of red and blue scales is dissolving away in our beaker," she said, pointing toward a cabinet that Croll was locking. "He's got our project in there."  
  
  
"Come on, Lil - I'll look stupid giving her back this tiny bottle."   
  
  
"Well, tomorrow - we'll test both of the potions and see which one is stronger," she said. "We'll use the strongest one."  
  
  
She'd added the last part for good measure.   
  
  
  
  
Chapter Title: a different way: "You could say this was an independent love song/it's nothing like to us what love meant to them/that's not to say the love we have isn't big or that strong/I'm doing it a different way/I'm doing it a different way "  
  
  
  
Croll - the name of an author of children's books.   
Nickclaus - I have a friend named that ^^  
Rigel - means 'blue' 


	7. Things They Never See

In This Chapter - Some questions about Natalie are answered and some creepy stuff happens! ^^  
  
Further author's notes at bottom, thanks!   
  
  
  
Lily sighed, flipping through the Potions book in her hands. She was worried, and not only about completing the bone-growing potion on time but also about Natalie and her willingness to help James.  
  
  
Lily didn't want to seem jealous, that was for sure; especially since she had no real reason to be. James was going out with HER, not Natalie. He spent 80% of his day at HER side, not Natalie's. She had absolutely no reason to fret over Natalie giving her boyfriend a simple bottle of potion; one that would help HER project, in fact.   
  
  
Still she couldn't help the odd feelings inside her, telling her to make sure Natalie knew her proper place; away from James.   
  
  
'Was this how he felt about Severus and I?' she asked herself, biting her lip and replacing the book into it's place on the library shelf.   
  
  
She could hear footsteps behind her. Perhaps it was Beatrice or Katie; coming to make her feel worthless? Worse, what if it was Natalie? Before she had time to ponder further, she heard the voice of Peter Pettigrew.   
  
  
"Lily?"  
  
  
She turned around, putting on a smile as she did so. "Peter."   
  
  
"James is looking for you," Peter said, coming further down the row toward her. Lily liked Peter; he was always nice and extremely gentle with her. While she often felt that the other boys were keeping secrets from her (they used odd secret nicknames, talked in code about things she didn't understand), Peter seemed utterly honest and never uttered a strange word in front of her. The boys sometimes called him 'Wormtail', which she didn't think was very nice, but Peter never seemed to mind.  
  
  
"Oh, is he?"  
  
  
"Yeah, he was wondering if you were coming down for dinner," Peter leaned against the shelf and glanced at her with dark eyes.   
  
  
"And he sent you up here to ask that?"  
  
  
"Well, no. He just wanted to know, Lily. I thought I'd go out and find you for him."  
  
  
"Very nice of you, Peter. Care to walk a lady to Gryffindor tower?"   
  
  
She smiled playfully and he nodded, taking her arm and leading her out of the library.   
  
  
"Wanted to congratulate you on the great save of yours in Potions class, Lillian."   
  
  
"Oh," she paused, "thanks."  
  
  
"I'm sure you're getting a lot of that after the marvelous show you put on in there."  
  
  
"I wouldn't really call it a show," she paused again. "Peter - what do you know about Natalie?"  
  
  
At the mention of the name, he tensed up. "Natalie Rigel?"  
  
  
She nodded.   
  
  
"Well...she's the daughter of an Apothecary owner. You've head of Rigel's Apothecary, right?"  
  
  
Lily hadn't.   
  
  
"It's in a village called Sharatan, we Pettigrew's have a summer home there. Anyway - Natalie comes from a very, very nice family. And she's a good person."  
  
  
Lily really couldn't say her opinion on Natalie was that high.  
  
  
"I really, really like her, Lil." Peter added, smiling. "I've been in awe of her since, well, forever. I saw her for the first time when I was ten; I mean she was beautiful even then..." Peter's voice trailed off.  
  
  
"Beautiful," Lily said, tasting the word in relation to Natalie.   
  
  
"Yes, Lily. On the day I met her it was raining outside and it was just about to be nighttime...and she was dancing under a streetlight, just like an angel..." Again he trailed off, paused. "And I didn't want to interrupt her but she saw me, and she looked at me... She's got wonderful eyes, Lil - really enchanting eyes."   
  
  
Lily couldn't remember looking Natalie in the eyes, not once in her entire time at Hogwarts.   
  
  
"I've been in love with her ever since..."   
  
  
"In love? Really, Peter?"  
  
  
He nodded. "Yeah but she's a pretty girl. I've got no business liking pretty girls - I'm not cut out for them."   
  
  
"Why do you say that, Peter?"  
  
  
He didn't reply, for they were approaching the Portrait hole. Lily gave the password (ophiuchus), because it was a long word and Peter couldn't quite pronounce it right. As they stepped inside, Lily seemed to be crowded by younger Gryffindors, all of whom had, 'Heard of that marvelous save in Potions class.'   
  
  
After braving the crowd of First, Second, and Third Years - Peter and Lily made there way further into the room in a search for Remus, Sirius, and James.   
  
  
Sirius was talking to a blushing, wriggling, and eye-batting Beatrice in one-corner, as Remus and James watched from across the room. Peter and Lily joined Remus and James.  
  
  
"That's disgusting," Lily remarked, gesturing toward Beatrice and Sirius.   
  
  
James looked down at Lily. "Nah, its okay - Sirius doesn't that Beatrice is that bad."  
  
  
The blonde girl was smiling up at Sirius, a look of adoration in her angel-blue eyes. Lily looked away, searching the Common Room. Her eyes landed on someone, looking her way.   
  
  
Natalie.  
  
  
***   
  
  
'That Lillian Evans thinks she's so special,' Natalie thought to herself, gazing at the girl with perfect white skin and long red hair. Natalie watched, as Lily looked her way with those green eyes. Green; the color of evil and calamity, color of devil himself. Natalie hated the color green, just as much as the hated the Muggle bitch.   
  
  
Lily had everything. Beauty, an unknowing grace, power, and his love. Everything Natalie wanted, Lillian had.  
  
  
Never, even in Natalie's wildest dreams, could she beat Lily at anything. She was always that one thing that sat in her way. Even Beatrice and Katharine, who were vain, were better.   
  
  
Natalie had a gift, (actually natalie had many, many gifts to share with her classmates) that of Prophecy. She took Divination seriously, took her predictions to be the very truth. Sometimes her visions frightened her; many were of murder (he needs to be forgiven, please forgive him, forgive!) and of Voldermort. She never told anyone about her visions, usually she was afraid. But what scares her most...  
  
  
Sometimes   
  
  
(she wants to force herself to say something as he stands, as he pushes himself up but she is not able. she can only hold her child tighter to her neck and let the tears fall down.)  
  
  
she  
  
  
(this is what it's like to be helpless.)  
  
  
even   
  
  
(it is her fault, she is the reason.)  
  
  
enjoys   
  
  
(time is slowing around her, to a crawl.)  
  
  
them.  
  
  
('will you do my will, lillian?')  
  
  
Yes, that's the part that scares her.   
  
  
It is a gift, though. A gift and not a curse. She's sure of it.  
  
  
***   
  
  
Dinner that night was actually nice for Lily - the boys talked only of the Potions projects due in two weeks.   
  
  
"Speaking of which, James, we've got some work we have to do on our project after dinner," she said, secretively.  
  
  
"Okay."  
  
  
Sirius raised his eyebrows, suggestively. "Going to work on your Chemistry together?"  
  
  
Lily giggled, "Oh, shut up, Sirius."   
  
  
"Well, James - full moon in threes nights," Remus said, his voice filled with a certain edge.  
  
  
Lily had discovered that the boys were all extremely interested in Moon Charts; ever so often they'd ask her to draw one up for them and she would do so, gladly. But they'd never tell her what they needed the charts for.   
  
  
"I'm aware," James said, taking a sip of Pumpkin juice and looking toward Lily.  
  
  
"Yes, it should be a good one." Sirius added, as an afterthought.  
  
  
Remus was looking a little sick, "I should probably go."  
  
  
"And we should probably go with you," Peter added.  
  
  
"Yeah," Sirius said, pushing his way out of his chair. "James?"  
  
  
"I'll see you guys later," James replied, downing the last of his Pumpkin juice. "So - potions?"   
  
  
"I was doing some research earlier and the only way to test Mermaid scales for strength is to taste them. In water."  
  
  
"Yeah?" His goblet had instantly refilled itself and he was sipping it.  
  
  
"So I was thinking, the two of us and the Prefects bathroom - later tonight..."  
  
  
"Huh?!"  
  
  
"You heard me, James - we'll meet in the Prefects bathroom in about an hour. Bring two sets of two goblets and your potion. I have to speak to Professor Croll, for just a moment." She pushed herself up from the table and walked away, James watching her go.   
  
***  
  
They entered the Prefects bathroom, not together - because that would be suspicious, two hours later. James had two sets of goblets, Lily had both potions.   
  
  
"This certainly is an odd thing to do," Lily commented, while pulling off her bathrobe. She'd transfigured herself a swimsuit about thirty minutes earlier and it was on under the robe. She didn't want to imply anything so early in the relationship.   
  
  
"Yeah," he muttered. She could feel his eyes on her, she felt power and fear enter her immediately and she chewed at her bottom lip, as she always did when nervous.  
  
  
"Why don't we get to work!" she cried, turning knobs left and right. As the steam began to fill the air and cover her from view, she began to calm down. James started the water on the other side of the tub, as well.  
  
  
She settled herself into the tub, all tension gone now, and let herself gaze at the goblets; one set gold and one set silver. The two bottles of potions sat beside each other, next to the cups.   
  
  
James poured the first bottle into the golden goblets, "The potion you brewed with your own hands, Lillian." He handed her one of the goblets and took the other. She took a small drink.   
  
  
Almost at once she felt herself growing slightly numb inside. She closed her eyes, concentrating on the taste; like some odd, bittersweet candy. The second sip wasn't quite as bad.  
  
  
She saw James smiling at her. Numbly, she couldn't keep herself from not smiling. She leaned in and kissed him.   
  
  
When they separated, James picked up Natalie's bottle.   
  
  
'Dear god,' Lily thought to herself, 'here we go.'   
  
  
She set the golden goblet on the edge of the tub and waited. There was a burst of air from just above her and she shivered. Suddenly, Lily heard glass breaking; James had dropped Natalie's bottle of potion on the edge of the pool.   
  
  
But why?  
  
  
"James Potter?!" a whiny, little-girl voice cried. "James, WHAT are you DOING!"  
  
  
Lily looked up and saw the ghost that populated one of the girl's bathrooms.   
  
  
"Lily - meet Myrtle. She's a cousin of mine."  
  
  
Lily gasped, suddenly realizing the resemblances. The cloud of nothingness that was Myrtle, had messy black hair held in two little-girl pigtails and wore the same glasses that everyone on James's father's side of the family seemed to wear.   
  
  
"James! If Aunty could see you like this... Who IS this girl, James?! What ARE you doing WITH HER?!" Myrtle kept crying in confusion.   
  
  
"Myrtle, this is my girlfriend - Lily."  
  
  
"James, if Aunty only knew..."  
  
  
James was already crawling out of the tub. "Lily - you can go ahead and get dressed if you want. Myrtle and I are going to clean up this mess." He gestured toward the broken glass that had been Natalie's bottle. "Just take the rest of your solution and go up to the dorms."  
  
  
"Okay," Lily whimpered, scared out of her mind. She got out of the bathtub and pulled her robe back on again, tying the sash quickly. Being careful not to cut herself in the glass, she picked up the bottle of solution she'd made.   
  
  
"Goodnight," she whispered.  
  
  
"'Night," he said, concentrating on the glass.  
  
  
He didn't even seem to notice when she slipped away.   
  
  
  
to be continued...   
  
chapter title: things they never see - "And you see/the things they never see/all you wanted/I could be/now you know me/and I'm not afraid"   
  
  
All of Natalie's weird Lily/James visions come from my own story - Immortality ( http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1109415 ) . Give it a read!  
  
  
Also - http://www.angelfire.com/rebellion/naberrie/augurey/index.html - is a wonderful Harry Potter RPG which I own with a friend of mine, Christopher - please check it out and consider joining! It's all about a Wizarding school set in America and is played totally by original characters.   
  
  
Last, but not least, - http://www.naberrie.dot.nu - is my collective. ^^;  
  
  
Thanks and don't forget to review!   
Happy New Year Everyone!!! 


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